I have patience with certain things. I could spend hours on tiny details to make something perfect - a craft or some other project. I have patience with the kids. I can relax and let Ryan do something on his own, even if it takes an hour instead of five minutes - and I can just enjoy the process. I can sit with the kids and count blades of grass if that is what they want to do.
However, I do not have any more patience to not be in the body I want to be in! I have been screwing around for months and years now. Every day that I don't make some effort to lose is another day I will be fat. Another day I will be self-conscious. Another day I will not be enjoying my body as much as I could. I thought about how to word that last sentence, because I do enjoy and appreciate my body at any size. I am thankful for everything it can do. I have been blessed to carry and nurse my children. I can hold them and dance and run with them. I just know that it could be better. I could be happier.
Below is a plan if I lose 1lb. a week. Starting today. I don't know for sure if I can keep up with a schedule like that - maybe 4lb. a month is more realistic? I will have to see! It has been a long time since I honestly and consistently tried. I just know that over a year (reaching 130 on 6/30/10) is already long enough to wait. I don't want to wait even longer than that!
On the flip side, this gives me hope, because 130lb. would be like a dream, but I can look at this and see that I can be at 160 before Christmas! That doesn't seem to bad. I would be thrilled with 160, 150, etc.!!!! I am not even sure if I want to be at 130. I'll think about it when I get closer!
