ok, Easter is over

I was NOT good with my eating, but it's over, and I need to get back in control. I had some incidents with Nestle crunch eggs, and an even worse incident with a bag of Mint Milanos (not even an Easter food!) Ahhhh, I really really love Mint Milanos, but not as much as I'll love losing weight. I checked this morning - I have stayed the same at 190, so I am happy with that - and I am ready to move forward. I still feel great about starting with counting a few days ago, because I think it DID make a difference with the holiday! I also felt good about working out, though it wasn't easy being so sore and cleaning in getting ready for our dinner!

I will work out at least twice between now and the end of the week! I will also be counting from now on! I need to figure out something with the candy that we have in the house!

feeling good

This morning I woke up and thought "why does it feel like there is a knot behind my knee?" and then remembered my workout last night :-) I actually like being a little bit sore, and it motivates me to keep going with eating well and exercising. I guess it's just a reminder of how hard I worked and it makes me want to make even more progress!

I actually like working out, so I don't know why I have so rarely done it in the past ummm, 3 or 4 years??? Like I can count on one hand the number of times I've done a workout DVD or video in that amount of time. I like to be prepared, and I always think that it will be worth spending the money, so I have . . . the firm, 30 day shred, tae bo, pilates, many different yoga dvds and videos (LOVE doing yoga), some NY ballet workout, and probably others I am forgetting. Oh, and I have a step and the videos that go with that. I also have a total gym (complete with accompanying videos of course) in the basement, and I DO like that too, even though it has hardly been used. I also have an exercise/balance ball and some ab contraption, LMAO. All this and I don't even watch infomercials! Anyway, my point is that I am going to DO this stuff now, instead of just collecting momentos of my optimism and high hopes.

I also don't want to spend anymore money on this! I could probably do a different thing every day for over a month and not repeat a workout! Today I went to the library and took out a hip hop workout DVD - it has to be back in a week, so I might try it out. I am going to try to indulge my need for new DVDs by using the library instead of my bank card. I DO wish they had Zumba though (already checked). Maybe a Zumba DVD can be a reward at some point if I keep up with this!

I just finished eating a yummy Stouffer's meal for lunch. I think the fact that it isn't Lean Cuisine makes me happy somehow, and it's only 6 pts. I even checked myself twice today. It's called "baked chicken breast" and has a piece of chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. I end up adding some salt, but I really enjoy it. Ok, this post is already WAY too long, but I will also say that I NEED to be better about not letting myself get so hungry in between eating. I sometimes don't know what to eat, or stress about counting and figuring portions for something random, so I don't eat. This makes a lunch of cookies seem that much more appealing! Note to self: it is not the end of the world if my point estimate is off a little bit either way - it does not have to be perfect!!!!

I did it!

When I wrote it here earlier, I didn't have much faith that I would ACTUALLY do the 30 day shred for the first time tonight (since I haven't been good with these things for as long as I can remember), but I wrote it, and I wanted to DO IT! So I did! I am beat - it kicked my ass! I am so excited though! I did the level 1, with the modified easier exercises, and I barely made it! It is only 20 minutes though, and I know I can keep doing this! YAY!

I have 20 minutes. Every day. There is never a day I'm too busy for 20 minutes. I will come back and look at this paragraph as needed, LOL! If anyone reads this and sees me say otherwise, please call me on it :-)

more about counting

That was a false alarm, Kate didn't wake up, but I know she will soon, and I need to GET CLEANING!

I have only had 2 sodas so far today which is huge. I had a ridiculously high point lunch (18), but I ate something in the freezer that is now gone and no longer a temptation. AND, I realized it wasn't worth it, so I am not tempted to buy/eat that again.

I need to adjust my points to not include full-time nursing now that Kate is eating more solids, but I am still not ready! I figure that if I am currently eating WAY more than my 35 pts (my pts just went up today when I logged my new weight, LOL), I should stick with 35 for a week or so and THEN make a change if I am not losing. I guess soon enough nursing won't be an issue at all, but for now I'm just going to take these baby steps and see where they take me.

life is too short . . .

• to not be happy with myself just the way I am, even at my current weight
• to not be more healthy so that I can enjoy my body and life even more
• to not shop at a store I love because their clothes don't fit me
• to sometimes feel like things are on hold until I get to a certain size or weight
• to not be thrilled that someone wants to take a picture of me
• to have to force myself to be in a picture with my children, because they are changing every day
  
• to not LOVE how I look and feel

I am sure I can go on, but you get the idea. I need to be making progress! I need to be getting closer to where I want to be!

I am counting points today, even though I have been eating A LOT. Today is my first day counting in months - probably since January. When I counted in January, it was probably only for a few days. Sunday is Easter and we are hosting, and I do NOT plan on worrying about points that day. I will be reasonable, but I am not going to worry too much about it. I am just proud of myself for not waiting to start again until Monday. I can still do well today and can get some practice at doing this all again!

I will try my 30 day shred today for the first time. I was going to do it last night, but Marc said I shouldn't because we have so much cleaning and stuff to do before Sunday. Ya know what? I didn't do that much cleaning last night anyway, and I could have worked out instead of watching some extra TV. I can take baby steps, even when I have a lot of other things going on!

I have more to say but I have to go get Kate before she wakes up Ryan (yes, he is napping!)