day 2

I am hungry and tired and hungry. I am doing it though. I am OP for the second day in a row and am checking for pigs flying past my windows every time I go by.

I had a Lean Cuisine (fettuccine alfredo) for breakfast this morning, followed by 3 pts of cookie dough, LMAO. Yesterday I had NOTHING to drink besides water. Today I had 16oz. of McD's orange drink and 2 16oz servings of caffeine free coke. Yeah, so that's 11 pts of beverage, and I only get 30, LOL! (5 are for nursing) Still a huge improvement over all the soda I had been drinking, so I'll take it for now.

I know I need to eat better (more filling lower pt stuff) if I am going to make this work, but for now, counting is a huge step, and I am working on all of this. It's hard because I'm picky. Need to figure out some more things that I like.

Ok, I am super tired so I'm going up to bed!

where I am :-)

The joy felt while eating cookies and cakes and chips is fleeting - that is what you have to KEEP doing it! I would get so much more enjoyment from feeling better about my body and being more healthy!

I have had ENOUGH. Enough time screwing around and not getting more healthy. I have said this before. I am sick of saying it and feeling it and thinking it. I need to just do this. ENOUGH!!!!!!!

I can't change the fact that I am not on schedule with my original plan. Instead of being 184 lb. today, I weigh 192. I am OP today though, for the first time in a while, and I just need to DO IT!

I took before pics this morning!!!! I have to look at them and maybe even post them here? I don't want to scare anyone though!

Here is the new plan. I can be at goal in a little over a year. Ok, a little over a year and two months :-) Or, I can weigh MORE than 192, or be at 192, or somewhere in between. Hmmm, what sounds best?? LOL! I can be at 165 by Christmas - that sounds good! I was probably around 165 when I got married and was in a size 8 or 10. I can't even imagine getting to 130 anymore - 155 or 145 would be incredible!

I see myself typing things like "I am 192" and then I am reminded that my weight is not everything and I should focus on it so much!

where I could be

Right now my weight is probably around 192. On 5/6, I created that spreadsheet (in the post below) that showed my then-current weight of 190, and plotted out a loss of 1lb. a week. So here it is, 6/10, and instead of being 185 (which would be AWESOME and allow me to fit in my shorts and capris without a struggle) I am up to 192. Yeah, nice. I need to get it together because this SUCKS!!!!

I am not buying more clothes, and I can't fit in much, and I'm frustrated. I keep looking at my weight from a week or two after having Kate last year - 171!!!! I have to get over it and just move on. I was stupid, but I can fix it.

DH and I talk about TTC at some point if we EVER think we can handle it - and if we are going to do that (despite a lot of fears I have!) I would LOVE to be thinner!!!! Maybe that will help me focus. I have a limited time, and I'd love to be as healthy as I can be if we are blessed with another pregnancy.