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I updated my "progress" section with my new weight. It's so sad for me to see that my pre-pregnancy weight was 183, and I was 171 about 2 weeks after delivery, and I lost all of that progress.

I still have the tags on those pants and I might return them.

Ok, maybe I'll post again on a more positive day, LOL.

corduroy pants

They are some new motivation for me. I have a pair of 12s that I bought from Eddie Bauer over a month ago now. They were snug but fit, and I thought I'd lose a few pounds and they'd be perfect. Now they are even tighter and I really can't wear them. Tags are still on, what to do? I found some 12s in the basement that fit, but again, are tight, and I can't spend money on 14s that I don't want to be wearing. I love love love wearing corduroy pants in the winter - they are so cozy and comforting, like a warm hug. I want so badly to have clothes that I love and feel great in. Clothes that make me feel like I look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside (happy).

I tried giving up soda about a week ago. I had zero soda for almost 2 days. This was after a wake-up call when I realized I had 2 12 packs in 3-4 days. I felt good giving it up, but I wasn't quite ready and have been very stressed with a lot going on including Kya being very sick. I gave myself a break and am just being more reasonable and trying to drink more water for now. I just didn't have any extra energy to devote to anything else.

I have been making progress with getting the house organized, and I truly feel that it is all a big picture. Little things I do now to make my life better will make it that much easier when I am ready to be more hardcore about losing weight and exercising. As I am typing that sentence I realize that giving up soda cold turkey is NOT a baby step, and that is probably why it didn't work for me right now!

baby steps . . .

ok, I'm back, with a new goal

So I haven't posted here in over a month, but I am working on getting my focus back now, so I just have to move forward!

I have actually been just under 180lb. lately, so that is something for now.

My new goal is to have things more together so that I am not up all night (cleaning, making icing and cake, etc.) before Ryan's birthday party on October 11th. That is just under 4 weeks. I will also try to eat better and lose a pound or two or three before then, but I just want to slowly get things more organized. I think if I do that, the weight loss will come. Or at least I'll be more prepared. I HAVE been cooking more, and I'm focusing on not wasting food that we buy.

Anyway, about Oct 11th - so many times, we are vacuuming right before an event. Sometimes Marc will be finishing his shower as guests arrive. Not fun. It is SO stressful to do things like that, and I want that to be history!

I wrote "October 11th" on the chalkboard in our hall that we pass every time we go in and out of the garage. Hopefully that reminds us to take baby steps to get things ready ahead of time!!!

in the weeds

I was just outside walking the dogs and was looking at all of the weeds. Same thing. I thought about how I haven't REALLY weeded in a month (because I didn't have a few hours to spend on it), but if I had done a little each week or on a few different days, it would be so much better right now! Ok, I am stopping myself from adding "weeding" and a million other things to my goal list - because a bunch of baby steps taken at once is still overboard and going to extremes - one baby step at a time, LOL.

I am going to start checking out the CHOP recipes (link at right) and I'm also planning on making the buffalo chicken in the crockpot in the next few days (maybe Saturday).

that was hard, LOL

I *just* posted below about how I am working on setting small baby step goals, but it still felt ridiculous to type that I should exercise once a week as a goal!! I have to see how it works, but I am forcing myself to put something down for now!!! Once a week is an improvement over nothing. Why can't that be enough for even one week????

If anyone is actually reading this and has advice I'd love to hear it!

I can do this!

I reserved this blog name about a week ago, and I am just getting to posting now. I want this to be a place that I can journal about my efforts to change my eating and exercise habits. I also want to work on just changing things about how I do things - by taking BABY STEPS!!!! This skill would help me in so many ways. I tend to be very "all or nothing" - I think it comes from my perfectionism and it contributes to my procrastination. I love some aspects of this, and I don't want to change it entirely (if I even could!). I just want to be able to deal with it better - to not let it cripple me in certain ways.

I tend to go overboard with trying to lose weight or exercise and I don't get anywhere! It's not enough for me to set a goal like exercising once a week, for even 5 minutes. I think to myself that a goal like that sounds too small - and do you know what I do? I do NOTHING. No exercise. I am a pretty active person, but I don't end up doing anything more formal in the way of exercise. SO, doing a few minutes would be something, and hopefully it would lead to more!!!

I reserved this blog name the same night that I posted on E about the brownies being in the oven. I got so much helpful advice in that thread, and I still think about it. It helped me a lot, and still does. I ate those brownies, a little at a time, and enjoyed them without being out of control! I am not ready to be OP quite yet, but I want to start making some small changes and be more mindful of my eating. I am not sure how I am going to end up formatting things here - I might put my goals in posts or off to the side somewhere?? It doesn't have to be perfect :-) This is just step and I can change it!